"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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