Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
