Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
