i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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