Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
