I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
