FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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