Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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