i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think my vagina is haunted
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If I die, sorry about rent.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
