Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
