So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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