Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
