He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Congratulations! We have a period
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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