So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
