You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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