i permit you to call me
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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