absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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