just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
