can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
