tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
