Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Randomize
