in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
