I can tuck mytits in my pants
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
