I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
