Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
