Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
