just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
