There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Are we still banned from the library?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
