I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
