I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
