Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
