How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
