Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
