We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
