I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
