If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
