Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
