I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
