What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
