Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
