lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
