you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize