she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
