There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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