Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
