It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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