I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
