yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She even gives head with a lisp.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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