Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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