We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
cat food counts as protein by the way
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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