Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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