none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
