a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
