The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
