rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
