we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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