It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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