Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
