Your face is a jimmy john
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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