Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
