ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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